Pregnancy - Second Trimester

Our bouncing baby boy is very active, but never when I want him to be. It is a rare occassion that he will kick when somebody else is looking/feeling. He could be doing acrobats for ten minutes straight and then I tell somebody to look/feel and he will be completely still. Jared was able to feel him a couple of days ago (12/29/08) while sitting on my lap, but he is the only person other than Brian who has had the privilege.

Brian Back Injury

Bo & Bitey (our furbabies) are enjoying having Brian set up in the living room. Though Brian is beginning to get very tired with laying around, our furbabies love the company as they sleep all day next to him. (Picture from 12/22/08)

It is also fun for the cats to help Brian with his school work. (Pictures from 12/22/08)

Unfortunately, Brian was not able to join me for any of the family Christmas parties, but his parents, Dawn and Erik came to our house for Christmas Eve for dinner and to exchange gifts. Bo & Bitey were right in the middle of the action. (Pictures from 12/24/08)

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

Brian was able to feel one of the baby's kicks today. He said that it just felt to him like I had a gas bubble, not like his baby was kicking his hand, but that it was still a cool experience. I can't wait until he is able to feel most of the kicks and they feel like his baby kicking his hand.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

The baby's kicks are getting stronger. Today I noticed that you can now visually see our baby boy kicking by looking at the front of my shirt. My shirt moves with the strong kicks, but there are still a lot of little kicks and movements that aren't visible.

Brian Back Injury

Brian's surgery was put on a trauma waiting list at Spectrum (downtown) for Friday 12/19/08. We were at the hospital at 130pm for surgery that was supposed to happen at 4pm, however, he did not actually get into surgery until 9pm. It was a long wait and Brian was in a lot of pain (the two morphine shots didn't last very long). The surgery was only supposed to be 1.5 hours long, but ended up taking quite a bit longer. I was not able to see him until 130am Saturday.

The doctor explained that he removed about 1.5 inches of disc and extracted the fluid from around the nerve. He reported that the surgery went well and he expects a full recovery. Apparently Brian has some degeneration and arthritis in that area of his spine, therefore the doctor expressed the importance that Brian take care of himself with exercise and diet. (Not a bad thing - we could all use a reminder to take better care of ourselves.)

When Brian came out of surgery he was quite dilerious. He was determined that I had caught a shoplifter, which I "shouldn't have done in my condition". That same shoplifter stabbed Brian in the back when trying to steal a $250 stereo. It was quite funny to listen to, but also showed that Brian wasn't quite ready to be on his own at the hospital. He hadn't eaten for over 30 hours and I wanted to make sure that he got some food into him, so I stayed at the hospital with him and everyone went home for the night. His parents drove us to the hospital and had waited with us that entire time (my family was there a majority of the time as well).

The next morning Brian worked with a physical therapist who cleared him to leave the hospital. Brian's instructions for the next two weeks are to lay flat on his back as much as possible, with limited time sitting (20-30 minute intervals), limited stair climbing and a 5 pound carrying/lifting limit. My Dad and Nick brought the mattress down from the guest bedroom and put it on the pull-out couch in the living room for Brian to use during this time. Brian's parents brought us home and helped us to settle in. They also took care of all of the shoveling after the big snowstorm that we had Friday night.

Brian Back Injury

I took Brian in to see a neurosurgeon/orthopedic doctor. The doctor explained the MRI to us and the fact that therapy would not help. Brian's disc between his fourth and fifth lumbar was completely blown out and extruding into the nerve that runs along his spine. There was a lot of fluid that escaped the disc and was along the spine as well. The only way to relieve the pain and the numbness in the leg would be to remove all the disc and fluid from around the spine. Because of the severity, he suggested that we consider surgery tomorrow.

Brian Back Injury

Brian's back pain has continued to escalate. I took him to the ER again, in the hopes that they could speed up the process of having the MRI read by the radiologists. Luckily, it all worked out and the ER doctors were able to get the radiologist to put the MRI on the top of the list and read the tests while we waited in the ER. The ER doctor reported that the MRI shows a severe bulging disc that will likely require surgery. He recommended a neurosurgeon, gave Brian some muscle relaxers and sent us on our way.

Brian Back Injury

A lot of things have been put on hold in our house, as Brian has severely injured his back. He has overworked his body and he is now unable to do anything (including work). Brian is very frustrated by this, as he has a laundry list of stuff to do before the baby gets here. The upper half of his body is completely crooked. It looks like he was cut off at the waist and then his top half put back on, but about 5 inches off from the bottom half. His right leg is as painful as his back and it is numb. We tried going to the chiropractor, to the family doctor and to an ER doctor. He had an MRI on Saturday and now we are waiting for the results. We have an appointment set up with a neurologist, as well, so three doctors are awaiting the results with us. Brian has not been to work in a week and the potential of returning does not seem to be in the immediate future.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

Brian is working so hard trying to get projects done around the house to get ready for our Baby Boy, but he is not having much luck getting his back to heal. He delayed renovation projects by about four weeks while going to the doctor for his back, but now that he has started the projects again, he continues to make his back worse. Renovations last about a day, with a week off thereafter for the back pain.

Right now Brian is working on getting a section of the basement ready so he can move his office down there. His office is currently where the nursery will be. The basement needs to have forms put along the exterior walls with insulation, some updated electrical and a drop ceiling. There was quite a bit of tear down, clean up, sealing, etc to do as well.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

It's a BOY!!

We had an ultrasound today and the sonographer was able to tell (without a doubt) that the baby is a boy. He is approximately 1 pound and all of his measurements are good (head, sections of the brain, arms, legs, etc). At the time of the ultrasound, he was breech, but it is too early to be concerned (approximately 1/3 of all babies are breech at this point in pregnancy). Hopefully he'll do a a somersault before delivery.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

For the past week or so, I have felt a very light (but destinct) flutter in my abdomen every once in a while. It seems to be in both lower quadrants, though mainly on my left and go as far as the left of my belly button. The flutters are real quick - sometimes one, sometimes a couple, but no more than two or three quick flutters (just like a butterfly trapped in a little spot or like my stomach is about to growl, but without the growl). My friend Tiffiny assures me that this is the baby, so I am very very excited. I was starting to doubt my mothering skills, if I can't even feel my own baby moving around in my tummy.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

I drove to Ann Arbor on Saturday to attend Arianne's shower. There were three pregnant women in attendance. Sean took a few pictures of Ari and I (and our bellies). I don't get to see Ari often enough, but I hope that our babies will be as good of friends as what Ari and I are.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

Some time in the middle of the night, the pain subsided. This morning it elevated to merely a dull ache, versus a stabbing pain. The doctor said that the urinalysis came back negative (no infections) and since the pain lessened that I am to keep an eye on it, but that it is probably muscle and tissue aches from all of the growing that is going on (I think that my belly has doubled in size in the past few weeks). I really do hope that is all it is, because yesterday was a very scary day. It has been a long time since I have prayed THAT many times in one day.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

At about 2:30 pm I stood up at work and had an excruciatingly sharp pain coming from my left lower abdomen. I tried standing in my cubicle for a while, then walked to the bathroom (holding my side and obviously looking pained, because several women followed me in and asked if I was in labor). I walked around in the bathroom for a good 20 minutes, but the pain was not subsiding. I checked and there was no blood or other discharge so I went back to my desk to call my mother (of course). Mom told me to call the doctor. The doctor ordered a urinalysis and then bed rest for the rest of the night. If the pain didn’t subside or if there was unusual discharge or blood they said to call.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

Before getting pregnant I always wondered why pregnant women always say "I'm 18 weeks pregnant" and not just say "I'm 4 months pregnant." Now I completely understand. Getting through each week is a huge milestone in pregnancy, so it makes perfect sense to count each week that you successfully complete. Now that I've turned into a week counting pregnant woman (18w5d to be exact) time seems to go by sooo slow. Each day is a milestone, let alone getting to a new week.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

My books and a few friends have stated that I should feel the baby around 14 weeks. Well, I haven’t felt anything yet. There are times when I thought that I felt the baby, based upon descriptions that it should feel tingly or like butterflies. Unfortunately, those feelings that I thought were the baby aren’t there anymore and didn’t last more than the one time. I feel like I am missing something now that I am at 18 weeks and still haven’t actually felt the baby moving inside me.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

According to the weather, we were supposed to get a lot of snow this weekend, so we worked on getting all of our leaves raked up. Brian threw out his back, so he can barely walk, let alone bend, and I do not bend very well with this big belly. I must have looked funny to passersby with my legs spread apart and bending at my knees trying to pick up the leaves and put them into the bags. I don’t recall every having to rake leaves into bags (being from the country where they either go back into the woods or are burned). Let me tell you, we didn’t like the process. We filled twelve bags of leaved and still didn’t pick up the ones from the other side of the sidewalk. Now my pelvis and inner thighs are so incredibly sore that some things are downright painful to do (i.e., bending, going from the sitting position to standing, etc).

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

I did three different tests that they have out there (just for fun) to try and predict what we'll be having. According to the Chinese predictor (based on my Chinese age, which is 30 when I am really only 28 and date of conception): Gender = GIRL. According to the old wives' tale predictor (a questionnaire of 15 different wives' tales: Gender = GIRL. According to the heart rate predictor: Gender = GIRL.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

We got all of our blood tests back from the second part of the sequential screening and cystic fibrosis and everything came out negative. I am not a carrier for cystic fibrosis, which means that Brian and I will never have a child with CF (you have to both be a carrier for this recessive trait to appear). Our sequential screening also came back negative (I forget all of the diseases that this one checked for, but none were present in the blood). My glucose, sodium and protein are all normal as well (which shocks me because of my cravings for salty things – I have purchased as much “low sodium” food as possible to combat this).

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

I talked to a woman at work today (in the bathroom of all places) who didn’t find out until her 20 week ultrasound that she was carrying twins (she had previous ultrasounds but apparently it didn’t show). Can you imagine? I sure hope that we aren’t in for a surprised like that on December 4.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

We had another doctor’s appointment today. This was a pretty regular appointment that only included a urinalysis and heart rate check. My protein and glucose levels remain normal. I have gained more weight than the average this last month, so I have to watch that. (I blame it on the fact that we only had 5 trick-or-treaters.) The baby’s heart rate was in the 140 bpm range. Our next appointment will be December 4, 2008 at 2:45pm and will be both an ultrasound and a check-up with the doctor. The ultrasound will hopefully be our chance to see whether or not we are having a boy or a girl (I’ll have to coax the baby into being cooperative).

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

I had a dream last night that is clearer than any dream I have ever had. My dream was about the delivery and early baby days. The baby was definitely a girl – and I still have the picture in my head of what her face looked like (pudgy cheeks, brown hair, brown eyes, my nose, normal ears, perfect white complexion – obviously grammie hadn’t gotten to her yet to kiss her cheeks). She looked about a month old when the nurse handed her to me. I keep calling the baby a boy because I just have this feeling that it is, but when stuff like this dream comes up, I can’t help but thinking it is a girl. Oh, I am just so impatient. I really want to know.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

We decided to stay home for our first Halloween as a married couple and our first Halloween in our new house (okay, so it may not be an important milestone-type holiday), but neither of us have really passed out much candy before because we were raised in the country. Anyway, so we decided to stay home and pass out candy and watch Halloween movies. What a huge disappointment! We only had five trick-or-treaters. Luckily, they were all very young kids (not yet in school) and they were all adorable, so I was all excited about what next year (and the following years) will be like when we are walking around with Baby Hansford dressed up super-cute.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

After much discussion (read: arguments) over the nursery, Brian and I settled on baby animals (that way Brian has the “woodsy” theme that he would prefer and I have the true baby nursery feel that I want). Below are five patterns that we found that are currently the top contenders. Please note, Grandpa Fin, that there aren't any once-live animal parts (nor will there be). ;)

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

I bought a Yoga DVD a while back that was specifically designed for pregnant women. I haven't used it yet, but I really need to so that I am capable of handling the birthing process itself. With feeling so nauseas, I haven’t been up to doing the DVD, but I also haven’t felt up to doing much of anything.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

I haven’t been having much of an appetite at all lately. Nothing sounds good to me and when I force myself to eat it feels like I am full and forcing myself to eat the last few bites (only it is usually a lot more than the last few bites). Yesterday I had this brilliant idea that maybe it was the nausea medication that was causing this, so I didn’t take it for lunch or dinner. Well, for lunch I still couldn’t eat anything more than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a plum and I felt woosie the rest of the day at work. For dinner, I didn’t want to eat at all. I had a glass of V8 (because fluids are the only thing I can seem to eat) and tried to force myself to eat a pot pie. The pot pie was not settling and I was sitting very still on the couch trying to keep it down, but then the phone rang and it was plugged in in the bedroom. I got up to get it and by the time I made it to the phone, I was vomiting into my hand and had to run to the bathroom. So the only thing that I accomplished was figuring out that I still need to take the medication. The only thing that I can manage to get down is liquids, so I have V8 juice and orange juice to try and get some vitamins and minerals, but that can’t be enough.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

I can’t figure out whether your stomach is supposed to, naturally feel bruisy when you touch it when you are pregnant. Is it stretching so much that the skin hurts? I am just one of those silly worry-wart first time pregnant women, I guess. It doesn’t feel crampy, my stomach just feels achy. Good ole Mom (the one I always go to with my worry-wart issues) says that it is probably the skin stretching and not to worry, but that if it makes me feel better – some moms even go in to get ultrasounds when they feel those aches.

Pregnancy - Second Trimester

Well, we made it through to the first benchmark. We are officially one-third of the way through the pregnancy and one-third of the way through meeting the newest member of the family. I have been looking forward to this point, because so many people have reassured me that the morning sickness goes away after the first tri-mester. We haven’t seen any relief yet, but we are hopeful.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

We decided to go through the sequential screening as well as get the blood testing for cystic fibrosis and other complications that can be monitored pre-birth. The first step today was to get another ultrasound and to have some blood work done. The baby is looking more humanlike and we could see the baby jumping around inside the uterus. It is really difficult to describe the emotions that the experience brought. We get more and more excited after each and every doctor’s appointment.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

We had our 12 week doctor’s appointment today (we are at 12 weeks and 2 days). Everything is progressing as expected for the baby. We were able to hear the baby’s heartbeat, as well as hear the baby moving around. It was a very awesome moment. All of the blood work from the previous appointment came back normal and the blood pressure was back to normal (it was slightly elevated at the last appointment). We have gained 2.5 pounds since the beginning (but of course it looks like a lot more than that because the stomach won’t suck in anymore).

Pregnancy - First Trimester

Well, the time has come. I cannot suck in my stomach anymore (it just doesn’t suck in). I was trying to stand up really tall to close my pants but I busted the seam in my pants yesterday and a button in the pants the day before. I had Brian take me to Motherhood Maternity and we bought some work pants and a few shirts. I have gained about 2 pounds now that I can keep food down, but the biggest thing is that my stomach won’t suck in anymore and that it is terribly uncomfortable to have tight pants around my waist when I am sitting down. Today I am wearing a pair of my new pants and let me tell you, there is a vast difference in the comfort level from yesterday. HUGE DIFFERENCE!!

Pregnancy - First Trimester

Even though the Reglan is helping me to feel less nauseas, I don't have much of an appetite - I don't know whether to attribute that to the medicine or to being sick and full of snot. I figure I'll wait and see at the October 6 appointment. Don't get me wrong, I still force myself to eat, but sometimes it is difficult to eat healthy when I don't really want to eat at all. I was talking to Arianne about this yesterday and she suggested eating a lot of really small meals all day long instead of trying to force three big meals. I think that I am going to try that route for a while. I no longer have the ability to suck in my tummy - so now all of my previous fatness is stuck out there. L I got a pregnancy yoga DVD, so I am going to see if I can do that (or some of it) on a regular basis (since my neighborhood isn't exactly the walk-by-yourself type of neighborhood) and after work, the last thing that I want to do is stick around and go to the gym.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

I called the doctor today because I think that I may have an ear infection. My ears have been hurting really bad for the past three days (and when I blow my nose and they pop I feel like someone stabbed me in the ear). The doctor's office wanted me to come in to determine if it is, in fact, an ear infection. Because this was a last minute issue, I couldn't get in to see the doctor, but rather a physician's assistant. According to the PA, I have an ear infection in both ears and a sinus infection. She put me on the z-pack, which is the strongest thing that she said that she could give me. She also stated that the z-pack is intended to get rid of the ear infections, but that I should understand that it may not help the sinus infection. She recommended Benadryl for the symptoms associated with the sinus infection. The PA also tried to listen to the baby's heart beat with a doppler machine, but she wasn't able to find it (it may still be early for that).

Pregnancy - First Trimester

I am supposed to take the Reglan 30 minutes before every meal. Thus far, I have taken it before my morning oatmeal and before lunch today. I seem to be doing okay so far, but I am really really tired.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

I called the doctor today to find out if there is anything that can be done about my nausea and vomiting. They have been so persistent that I am not functioning very well at work and I am not eating very well (in fact, I have started losing weight). The doctor prescribed "Reglan", which is a gastrointestinal stimulant used to treat gastroesophageal reflux and erosions/ulcers of the esophagus. It is also used to treat nausea, vomiting, heartburn, prolonged fullness after meals, and loss of appetite in patients with diabetes.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

Brian and I have decided to have the nursery theme be baby animals (the woods animals). For a girl, the theme would be pink and white. For a boy, the theme would be in green and yellow. Ideally, I would like to paint a mural or atleast a few random animals on the walls (baby deer, bunnies, squirrels and birds). As persistent as Grandpa Fin is, there will not be buffalo skulls, deer antlers or any other once alive animal reminents in the room.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

Friday night Brian bought some rotisserie chicken at the deli at Wal-Mart and from the moment he put it into the cart I felt like vomiting. We got home, he ate it at the kitchen table but I couldn't stick around too long and left, I returned to the kitchen, but vomited when I smelled the bones in the trash, then again when I opened the fridge, and the last straw was when I smelled it on Brian's breath when he kissed me.... (Brian found that part absolutely hilarious, which of course made me cry because I am so emotional lately.) It has definitely been interesting.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

We had another doctor's appontment this morning. This appointment was our initial meeting with the nurse to discuss pregnancy in general, our relationship with the doctor's office over the next 7 to 8 months and some things that Brian and I should be doing to ensure a healthy pregnancy and delivery. We signed up for our birthing classes, which will be in March, and also discussed our medical benefits with the billing department. Brian and I are fortunate that GE's benefits are very good. The entire pregnancy, from our very first appointment until we leave the hospital with Baby Hansford in-hand will only be an out-of-pocket of $300 (that even includes an anesthesiologist). We also received two bags of goodies (the first of many to come, from what I hear). Brian thinks that it is silly that I got very excited over our first little pacifier and bottles.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

I did a little investigating about maternity leave at GE today and discovered that I will receive 100% of my pay 2 weeks prior to birth and 6-8 weeks after birth (6 for vaginal, 8 for cessarian). I am also allowed to use my sick time and vacation (with management approval). I think that Brian and I have decided that he will use his vacation and personal time, as much as possible from the time that I go into the hospital and thereafter. He should have 2 weeks of vacation available in April of next year.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

We decided to tell Nick and Jared today before we left for camping. When Brian and I got to my parents' house, we called Nick and Jared into the kitchen and asked them to sit down. I started out standing as I said "We have some news", then sat down in the same chair as Jared just in time for him to look up and say, "A Baby?!?" They were both very excited that they will be uncles, but a little perplexed by the size of the embryo in the picture that I showed them. All weekend they both tried to ensure that I was taken care of and feeling okay - a sure sign that they will be great uncles.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

Well, we had another doctor's appointment today, and let me tell you that no two expecting parents could have been more excited than we were when we saw that little tiny white embryo on the ultrasound monitor with the fast beating heart. We got to see the heart! Our little black sac is now a little white embryo and it was so amazing to see. We were absolutely elated! I made sure to get a picture and I look at it all the time. The doctor also established today that the embryo is 6 weeks and 4 days old and will be due to be born on April 19, 2009. When Mom found out, she was very excited (she could end up sharing her birthday, April 16, with somebody).

Pregnancy - First Trimester

The nausea is pretty persistent, but my vomiting is limited, which is good. I am still very tired and it is difficult to keep my focus at work. Mom called today and told me that she told Aunt Ileen. Aunt Ileen promised not to ask her about it (I assume that is so that it doesn't leak to nearby burning ears). Mom also told me that Grandma inquired into my health on Saturday August 14, 2008. Mom tried to explain that Brian and I were arguing a lot throughout the trip to Cousin Loren's wedding in Ohio (where Grandma saw me) and that it was stressful and tense. Apparently Grandma was not satisfied with this answer and felt that I didn't look good. She decided to come right out and ask Mom if I was pregnant. That woman is good! Mom couldn't lie in order to protect my secret, so she confessed. I wasn't given any insight into Grandma's reaction, other than pledging that she would not tell anyone, not even Grandpa.

Mom also decided that she is not one-hundred percent settled on the name "Grammie". After all, if she decides later on that she doesn't like "Grammie" then how do you have all her other grandkids call her something different and the first one calls her "Grammie"? Little things like this are very indicative of Mom's excitement to be a grandma!

Pregnancy - First Trimester

Well, nausea has started to kick in. I cooked biscuits and gravy for breakfast and afterwards, started to get dizzy as I was cleaning up. This must have become apparent to Brian because he continuously told me that he would do the dishes. I was very stubborn and determined to finish the dishes and, thus, did not take him up on his offer, but half way through I forced my way to the bathroom and then resided on the couch for the remainder of the day.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

I am very tired. I seem to go home everyday from work and take a nap. Before knowing that I was pregnant, I would try to hide my tiredness from Brian because I was ashamed that I wasn't able to survive on the 7 hours of sleep that I was getting at night (which is also more than usual). Now that we know that I am pregnant, I let myself sleep as much as needed. Brian was complaining for a while, but then his best friend Tyson explained to him that this is a symptom of pregnancy and he needs to let me rest without hassling me. Now Brian encourages me to sleep.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

I called the doctors office around 9am to ask about the results of the two tests. The results were not in my file, so the nurse had to get them and then talk to the doctor before calling me. She called later that morning and left a voicemail, telling me that my second HCG level was at 2400 and that I needed to set up another ultrasound in 10 days. I called back to make the appointment, but was disappointed that I did not have an opportunity to ask if the estimate of 5 weeks had changed.

Mom decided that I should tell Dad (so that way she had someone to talk to and so that he knew what was going on while things were still uncertain). Dad's reaction was distinct and obvious. He was so excited he almost starting crying (though I am certain that his emotions were on edge, since we were at Aunt Joan's funeral, he was still obviously excited). At the moment that I was telling Dad and he was giving me advice about how its okay if this wasn't planned because you can never be ready, Grandma McQueen walked. Dad looked at me and said, "Are we telling people." What an indicative question. Grandma says, "Your pregnant" in a very nonchalant manner, "I already knew that." "How did you know," I asked. "Jared told me." "Oh no. Jared doesn't know." I explained. "He has been saying that since before we were married. He just assumes that since Brian and I are married that a baby is soon to follow." After this conversation, mom came up to me in a very excited manner and puts a hand on each shoulder shaking me excitedly and saying, "Grammie. I've decided that I want to be called 'Grammie'".

Pregnancy - First Trimester

The appointment was set for 1145am, which worked out great, because Brian didn't have to work until 2pm. Brian and I met at the doctor's office (I came from work and Brian from home, ready for work after the appointment). We didn't wait for long (in fact, I didn't even have time to finish the paperwork for my new insurance card and name change). We were ushered into the ultrasound room where the technician attempted to do an ultrasound from the exterior of my abdomen. In a very short time, she told me that I could empty my bladder and she would have to use the interior probe. After a long time watching the technician on the screen, I focused on Brian. Every time the monitor showed something that looked like it could be a baby, he slide to the end of his chair and his head tilted to the side as his neck arched forward. Then the monitor would look inactive again and he would eventually slide back into his chair. This continued for quite a while until the technician finally said, "See that black circle? That could be a sac, but only the doctor would know for certain. I do not see any clear signs of a fetus." "What?" I exclaimed, in both terror and anger. "What is wrong with me?" The technician said that she would see if my obstetrician could see me and left. Brian and I just felt very confused at that moment. So was I pregnant or not? If I am 11 weeks along, then why can't we see and hear a baby?

The technician came back and led us to a smaller waiting room. (It gave me a chance to finish that paperwork.) Dr. Dood's nurse, Kim, came and took us to a private room to wait for him. After a few short minutes, the doctor came in and we reviewed my menstrual cycle again and the results of the ultrasound. The doctor was not very clear as to how far along I was, either. I have been experiencing a lot of problems with having a regular menstruation cycle (in fact, I had two in the month of May, which were forced by a hormone that the doctor put me on). Dr. Dood decided to have me take two blood tests and explained that these blood tests would calculate my HCG level (a hormone only present during pregnancy and the same hormone that pregnancy tests detect). An over-the-counter pregnancy test will usually register anything about a 200 HCG level. The HCG level will double every 24 hours during the beginning of a pregnancy and then lower toward the end of a pregnancy. Dr. Dood wanted a "stat" test done there at the doctor's office, the results of which he would tell me tonight and then another test on Sunday at the hospital.

On my way back to work, my mom called to tell me that she purchased Michigan 's Adventure tickets for our Labor Day vacation. It was funny that she had to tell me in code because Jared was in the car (and if he knew where we were going, it would be a long two weeks). I took advantage of the code talk and told her about the appointment and being pregnant. Unfortunately, I was too emotional to get a good read on her first reaction. She agreed that this should not become public until we were sure of the timeline and being out of the "risk" period (after the first trimester).

Brian called several times during the day to ask if the doctor had called yet. Unfortunately, my answer was always "no" and when it hit 5pm I was determined that it wasn't going to happen today. Then at 545pm, as I was walking into Brian's work at Wal-Mart to do the weekly grocery shopping, the doctor called. My HCG level is 1100 and the doctor is hoping for a level of 1800 or higher on Sunday. Before he hung up, I managed to quickly ask him the question that was really on my mind, "So, with a level of 1100, can you estimate, at all, how far along that I am?" "I would say 4 ½ to 5 weeks, the next test will give us a better idea."

Pregnancy - First Trimester

The date of conception is usually calculated by knowing the first day of the last menstrual cycle. For me, that would have been May 22, 2008, meaning that I am 11 weeks pregnant and due on February 26, 2008. When I called the doctor Wednesday morning, they completed the calculations and determined that they needed to get me into the office for an ultrasound as soon as possible. We set an appointment for Friday. The doctor didn't seem to want to have me take another pregnancy test, but rather jump straight to the ultrasound, which lead me to believe that two positives was substantial evidence that I am pregnant. I told Arianne about the tests and there was no question that she was excited for Brian and I. She was also very excited that we would be doing this together. Arianne is approximately 5 months pregnant.

Pregnancy - First Trimester

I had been experiencing a lot of unusual symptoms for the past few weeks, including breast tenderness, abdominal pains and extreme tiredness. It didn't click until today that I should take a pregnancy test. Brian and I cleaned up dinner and then went to Gander Mountain in Grandville to find some supplies for smoking salmon. On our way home, I asked Brian to stop at Walgreens so that I could pick up a test. He handed me $10 and I went in, leaving him in the car. Of course, $10 wasn't enough for a good test, so I picked up a Walgreens brand test for $8.49. This test was a little closer to the doctor tests, though, as it required urinating into a cup and then using a syringe (provided) to put drops into the test.

My best friend Arianne called on the way home and since I hadn't talked to her for a few weeks, we talked for a long time. It wasn't until about 930pm that I finally got around to taking the test. As the liquid started entering the reader, I realized that a faint line appeared where none has ever appeared before. At that moment, the emotions started their rollercoaster ride. I was excited, anxious, nervous and scared all at the same time. I walked away for the required 3 minutes, but when I came back, the test looked just the same - a faint line. I called Brian into the bathroom with a shaky, "Hon-ey!" After making him read the instructions, I said, "Now look at it. I think we need to take another one." "Hon, the directions say that the darkness of the line doesn't matter. There is a line - you are pregnant." After several comments about the power of his soldiers, I started to get upset. After all, I didn't feel like I had a clear answer to what could be a very big step in our lives. I convinced Brian to take me to Wal-Mart for a second test, arguing that the off-brand test, plus the faintness of the line, plus the difference in the testing method didn't make me feel certain about the results. Brian complied and we drove to Alpine (I downed a bottle of water on my way). We picked up a name-brand test that required the common method of putting a stick into the urine stream for 5 seconds and drove home to immediately take the test. This time, we needed to look for a plus sign and again, we were given a very faint sign. Again, the emotions were mixed - scared, happy, nervous and anxious. Brian and I resolved to call the doctor in the morning.